In the bitter cold months of winter it’s always nice to visit a film set in summer or in a warmer climate. The made-for-TV film Baby Sister (1984) fits that bill. It’s a low stakes erotic drama that passes by quick enough. The fact that Baby Sister was made for television means that it’s devoid of nudity and soft-core steaminess. What Baby Sister offers is Phoebe Cates sweating it out in Santa Monica.
In almost every scene Phoebe Cates is dripping with sweat. The filmmakers have also decided to wardrobe Cates in short-shorts and tube tops so that her sweaty skin is prominently displayed. Apparently the whole point of Baby Sister is to parade Phoebe Cates around on thousands of televisions. The plot functions as little more than a series of flimsy excuses to put Phoebe Cates in different alluring outfits.
Baby Sister, aside from being an ode to Phoebe Cates’ body, is a paint by numbers melodrama. Ted Wass and Pamela Bellwood possess all the dimensions and nuance of cardboard. The illicit affair has no fire or passion and the fall out lacks in authentic drama. The players enact this love triangle with broad and hollow gestures as if no one is certain how their characters should feel at any given time.
In the third act of this sweaty affair an anti-drugs narrative is introduced. There had already been some Regan era anti-drug messaging in Baby Sister, but in the third act hunky Ted Wass is assaulted by a drug addict looking to raid Wass’ clinic for a fix. Of course the adulterer doctor beats down the drug addict. This B-plot comes and goes, ostensibly interjected into the film to liven up the whole proceedings with a white knuckle brawl. It’s also suggested that by fighting a drug addict Wass’ character has redeemed himself.
This by the book soap opera was directed by television veteran Steven Hilliard Stern. But even the director of Mazes & Monsters (1982) can only make a film as good as his script. No amount of soft focus kissing scenes can bring on the real heat that Baby Sister so desperately needs. Cates and Wass have as little chemistry as Wass had with Tanya Roberts in Sheena (1984). Perhaps the mistake was to make an erotic film for television circa 1984?
